Clara Ellen Wilkinson Merrill

Mom is holding me and my youngest brother is in her tummy.


My mom was born September 19, 1943 in a small town in southeast Texas, Honey Island. Her parents did not have a ton of money. In fact, they had very little money at all. My grandfather died when Mom was only 11, so I never got to meet him or my grandmother because she died the year before I was born, in 1971. From the stories Mom told, they were both very special people. They taught Mom about Jesus and how to work hard and study. She passed those teachings on to her 7 children as well.

Mom was the youngest of 4 siblings and very smart. She was very talented too. She could grow just about anything and sew too. She made several of my clothes growing up and even my prom dresses, not to mention my wedding dress and that of my bridal party. Unfortunately, I did not receive those talents from my mom. My sister, Ellen, did. I think inherited her love of books, politics and a strong sense of family and friends. Mom always said, "Mary Grace, if you make it through this life with 2 good friends, then your life has been a success." Mom was right and both of my dear friends showed their support for me when they made the drive from their homes to mourn my loss with me.

My Mom wasn't perfect and she certainly made her share of mistakes, but she did the best she could and I have nothing but admiration for all the sacrifices she made for her family. She had such a bright mind and wanted to be a lawyer when she graduated high school. But, she met my Dad that summer, fell in love, and got married and started a family. I asked Mom if she ever regretted not going to college and she said, "Not one day! If I had, I wouldn't have had all my children and might live wouldn't have been filled with such joy." It was later, after all of us were born, that she decided to go to nursing school. I think she was almost finished when she got sick and had to have surgery. After that, she didn't go back. Mom was a good nurse...she had 7 kids to practice on and believe me, there was always some kind of illness in our house.

Mom was a great saleswomen and she sold many different products while I was growing up. I remember she sold Stanley Home Products, Catoni Lingerie (that was a fun time), Mary Kay, Tupperware, and Home & Garden Party. Mom didn't like to drive at night, so when I got home from school, I would ride with her all over north Texas so she could hold her parties. I would do my homework in the car and help Mom unload and set up for her shows. I was always shy, so I didn't participate, but stayed in the background while she did her thing. I guess I get my salesmanship skills from Mom because whenever there was a fundraiser at school, I was always one of the top sellers in my class. The nights when her parties were close to home, I would stay and make dinner for Dad and my little brother.

Mom was an excellent cook and she made sure all her kids knew how to cook the basics too. Some of us took to the stove and some of us didn't. She always said it was her job to make sure her children knew how to take care of themselves when they left the nest. Well, none of us look like we've missed a meal, so I guess she did her job well.

I didn't mind sitting at Mom's knee or standing beside her at the stove or riding for hours in a car all over creation. You see, when there are 7 children in a house, you learn to take the moments you can to to spend time with your parents. I learned many things from Mom. She always taught us to "believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see." I have been on the receiving end of gossip more times than I care to remember and have been hurt deeply from untruths, so I try very hard not to participate in gossip sessions by those that have nothing better to do with their time. Mom always taught me to show more compassion than I receive because I might be in that person's situation one day and need an encouraging word.

Mom's important lessons always had to do with scriptures. She said it's hard to forgive at times, but we must because Christ instructs us to do so. She said there will be those that will hurt you, but you can't let Satan turn your heart cold by being unforgiving. Not only does it hurt us in the long run, it displeases God and does not bring honor and glory to His name. When I accepted Christ as my Savior at the tender age of 12, I began to understand all the things Mom had been teaching me over the years. I came to realize that anger and resentment are wasted emotions that Satan uses to keep us separated from the joy and blessings God has for us.

I remember her saying to never go to bed angry and it wasn't until I began reading the Bible and studying that I found that scripture. All that time, I just thought Mom was wise. When I became an adult and became engaged to Randy, those were the words she gave me to live by. She said you can't let Satan get a foothold in your marriage. If you get angry and have a fight, always apologize and forgive before you fall to sleep because it gets harder to say you're sorry the longer time goes by.

My mom and I were never friends when I was growing up, she was my MOM! She made me do chores, go to school, do my homework, cook and mind my manners. She was always asking where I was going, who I was going with and when I would be home. All the things a good mom teaches her children. She even spanked my behind and popped me on the mouth when I got smart with her, as she should have. Of course, as a teenager, I thought she was mean. I'm sure my boys will feel the same way as they get older because I plan on being just as "nosey" and "mean" as my Mom was with me!!!

My Mom became my friend when I got married because she knew I had entered a different stage in my life so her parenting changed as I changed. It was then that I truly began to understand all the sacrifices a mom makes for her family. All the harsh realities of life she tries to protect her children from. There were still times Mom and I clashed because we're so much alike, but we always said, "I love you" at the end.

Now, I'm trying to find my way through this new stage of my life...life without Mom. She was my friend, my medical advisor, my sound board, my advocate, my seamstress, my teacher, my Bible study leader and my MOM! I know my Mom is in heaven praising our Lord and I wouldn't take that from her for anything. It's just hard sometimes when I realize I can't pick up the phone and call her when the boys do something spectacular or funny or if they're sick and I'm at my wit's end. When will the hurting stop and the healing start? When will I be able to make her cornbread dressing and chocolate pies without over-salting them from my tears. When will I be able to watch a movie about Moms without crying because mine is not with me anymore. When will I stop being scared that I'll lose my Dad too. I just have to keep praying for peace from that fear.

The one thing I've learned from my Mom and taken into my adult life is to love others unselfishly and to give of yourself. Don't let past hurts keep you from loving...love with everything that's in you.